Holidays and ADHD

The holidays are here.

As the holidays approach, the ADHD brain lights up and starts to 
imagine creating the most beautiful and perfect holiday possible: 
the perfect decorations, a three-course dinner for the extended 
family, cards sent out in time, perfect gifts for everyone, signing 
up for all events and concerts…

As the anticipation increases, it’s easy to see how we can smile 
and make ourselves believe that all of these goals can be achieved 
with our adrenaline-boosted energy and motivation.  

What we tend to forget is that pulling together the perfect holiday 
requires exactly those Executive Functions of the brain that we 
may already be struggling with in our everyday lives.

Planning, organizing and time management are just some of the 
skills we need to utilize in order to accomplish a seamless holiday.

It’s no wonder things falter when it comes to putting our ideas 
to action.

We start to procrastinate on writing those cards until it’s too late; 
we get overwhelmed by the details each task entails; we forget to 
plan the to-do list in the days leading up to the family dinner we 
agreed to host. All those tasks that seemed easy and doable begin 
to loom larger and larger, threatening to overwhelm us into complete 
inaction.

Even though we are usually the ones who created these expectations 
for ourselves, this is when our negative talk starts. Anxiety and 
stress build as more and more things start to fall apart.  At this 
point, anxiety and stress builds and our anticipation turns sour as 
we begin to dread the holiday season.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Consider the following approaches 
to ease you into future holidays: 

1. Take care of yourself

2. Adjust your expectations and set reasonable and realistic goals. 

3. Learn skills to manage the project more efficiently

4. Simplify your holiday and plan ahead

5. Learn to say “no”

In my next post you will find these ideas with additional details collected 
from experts.

I can help you implement any and all of these choices or to come up 
with more solutions!

Source: Gabriella Hajdu

Tips for the Holiday Season

Continue from previous blog...

Here are some further ideas I collected for you to give a try 
to:

1. Take care of yourself
Keep taking care of yourself to stay centered and energized. 
Use  calming techniques (stop, relax think) and self control 
(yoga, breathing  exercises) or exercise to produce endorphins 
to help you better handle  stress. Find time to go for walks, 
take hot baths, meditate, pray, visit friends, take naps, or 
relax with your children or spouse.

2. Adjust your expectation

SENSORY OVERLOAD
Problem: Sensory overload by the crowds in a store, the 
stress of  parking, all the lights, colorful decoration and loud 
music can create  anxiety, overwhelm and distraction for 
someone with ADHD.
Possible solutions: Go shopping when no one is around. 
Take your medication for focus. Wear an iPod with calming 
songs. Have a list of items you need to purchase.  

STRESSED FOR TIME
Problem: Feeling stressed out because you’re trying to do 
too much -- in too little time.
Possible solutions: Be realistic about what you can 
accomplish. Determine what is truly important to your family
Example: Make a list of all the activities your family 
did last year and have each family member rate them on 
a scale from 1 (very important) to 3 (unimportant). The 
focus only on the 1s and some 2s, and  forget about the 3s.

LET PERFECTION GO
Problem: Remember we do not have to recreate the perfect 
Christmas we  see on Tv. It’s hard enough to deal with the 
stress of daily living  with ADHD.
Possible solutions: Let go of the idea of the perfect 
holiday. Do only the holiday things that truly bring you 
joy.

3. Learn skills to manage the project more efficiently

PLAN FOR FOCUS
Take a day off from work or hire a babysitter so you can 
plan, write cards, or shop without the kids. A time line 
or check list can  keep all the preparations on track - 
and keep you from becoming overwhelmed.

DELEGATE AND SIMPLIFY TO SAVE TIME
Problem: Running out of time to get everything done.
Possible solutions: Streamline your life. Your time is still 
going to be at a premium.
Example: Defer nonessential activities until after the 
holidays. Delegate, chart and check off when done. 
Save time in the kitchen by  buying prepared dinners at
your grocery store or cooking, then freezing, double 
recipes when you have the time. Shop online. 

TO DO LIST
Problem: For those of you who are impulsive and/or 
disorganized,  making a "Holiday To-Do List" early is a 
must. But deciding what to put  on it (and what NOT to 
put on it) however can be confusing.
Possible solutions: Make 3 lists and check them a lot
Example: Break your seasonal to-do list into three 
master lists  to ensure a smooth and joyous holiday. 
1. Activities, 2. Gift Budget,  3.Sending cards and 
gifts in time 

FINANCES
Problem: Being concerned about finances is the number-one 
stressor during the holidays.
Possible solutions: Use a budget. Have a list when you 
go shopping. Shop online. If finances are tight, offer 
homemade gifts or  provide a service, such as mowing 
the lawn or babysitting.

4. Simplify your holiday and plan ahead

HOLIDAY CARDS
Problem: Sending holiday cards-- after it’s already too late.
Possible solutions: Devise a system for keeping track of the 
information related to cards or e-mail them to save both 
your and mailing time.

THE PERFECT GIFT
Problem: Finding the “perfect” gift for everyone.
Possible solutions: Stop worrying about it. Give gift 
certificate  or make a donation in the person’s names 
to a favorite cause or  nonprofit. Or buy everyone 
varieties of the same thing, such as books or clothing 
from the same catalog or website. Stock up on decorative  
candles or bottles of wine to give out as hostess 
gifts, too.

5. Learn to say “no”

SAY NO to Parties That You Don't Want to Attend
First, Say thank you to the person for inviting you, 
then apply  the "less is more" rule. Skip the long 
explanation and choose something  short and general 
like: "I'm sorry, but I already have plans for that day."

SAY NO to Out-of-Control Gift-Giving
Problem: You’re tired of running around and buy gifts 
you don't  have time to shop for, can't afford, and 
that nobody really needs  anyway.
Possible solutions: Just opt out of gift giving this 
year. Consider drawing names for a gift exchange or 
buying one gift for a  household. Pool your money 
and invest in a professionally done family portrait, 
with prints for everyone. Replace material things with a 
memorable holiday experience. Rent a house in a vacation 
spot or  national park, or gather everyone to attend a 
special holiday play or  performance. Tell them, "I'm 
starting a new tradition. Instead of giving  gifts, I'm 
going to make a contribution to an organization in your 
honor."

SAY NO to Unwanted Houseguests
Here are some preventive tactics: "You're coming to town? 
Fantastic! A great new hotel just opened -- you'll love 
it!" or "Sorry,  the house is in no condition for guests 
right now." Also "I can't wait  to see you. Do you need 
recommendations on a good place to stay?"

SAY NO to Taking on the Work for a Big Holiday Celebration
Tell your family that you need a break and so someone 
else can  handle the celebration. You can all go to 
a restaurant. Or start a  potluck and tell your guests, 
"I'm starting a new tradition. This year, everyone 
will bring one dish for the meal."

ESCAPE
Leave it all behind. Take a vacation from the holiday 
season —  and the frenzy that goes with it. Take your 
family on a trip the week  between Christmas and New 
Year’s.

This holiday season, have confidence in your decision to 
do only  those things that really matter to you and those 
you love. It will help  you and your loved ones enjoy the 
season -- and start the New Year  energized, refreshed, 
and happy. Season’s greetings!

Sources:
http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/keep-holiday-stress-minimum-learn-say-no?page=3
ADDitude Magazine: by Michele Novotni, Ph.D., by 
Sandy Maynard, by Beth Main, by Rosemary Hahn